Today was an amazing day.
It wasn’t one of those days where I went to Disney World or climbed Mt. Everest (haha like I have that kind of ambition!!) but it was a day where I wasn’t working for a change and I did something totally for me. I attended (and spoke at) an event called “Find Your Fire” that a friend of mine Autumn Clifford put on. I am a part of her Spiritual Badass FaceBook group and have been working with her as a business coach for a few months. She has changed gears from “Business” coach to “BadAss Ninja Spiritual Coach” and I am so glad she did.
I made some amazing new friends today that are in alignment with my Spiritual, Soulful side and I woke up this morning with a confidence and happiness I haven’t really ever felt in my life. A feeling of being right where I belong, doing exactly what I was put here to do. That’s huge for a girl who has spent most of her life trying to fit in and failing miserably because I was not in alignment with my heart, my soul and my purpose.
It made me realize that I have sold myself short for many years, hidden the gifts that were given to me at birth that I was put here to share with other people who need them. The biggest one being Love.
Now when I say that I don’t mean that I haven’t loved before. I have loved a lot … but I never really loved myself which made the love I was giving sort of half assed I guess because I wasn’t giving the love that came from my soul I was giving the love that came from my head. The love that I thought other people wanted or needed. While I was speaking about manifesting and arriving at your destination I realized that standing up there talking to people … reaching people where they needed to be reached was exactly what I was supposed to be doing. I had arrived at my destination … well at the first stop on my destination anyway!
After that moment I did something I don’t normally get to do. I stayed in the moment. I was present and enjoyed the space that I was in exactly as it was right then. I didn’t worry about what comes next. I didn’t think about all the things I needed to do. I was totally in my element and connected with myself and everyone around me! Usually at things like this I’m very self conscious, nervous and detached, worried about the kind of impression I make on people etc. But for those moments … I simply let my self BE. And when I woke up this morning I let myself continue to just BE. This is not an easy feat for someone with social anxiety, PTSD and depression but I can’t tell you how good it feels!! That feeling carried on to today and I am walking around with a spring in my step and a happiness in my heart I haven’t really felt before.
What I am discovering about my self is that when I am doing things that are in alignment with my heart and my purpose there is an air of confidence, a relaxed feeling and an excitement to do more, push myself further into this zone and to find more ways to feel this good.
I’m lit up today. I’ve found my fire …
PS … you can find this great group of people on FaceBook in the Spiritual Badass group or my tribe Building Butterflies!!